esther williams, i am not

however...
motivated, i AM!

yes, it is saturday. and i am awake at this ungodly hour of 0600. in fact, i have been up for over an hour. it was a fitful night's sleep... for several reasons, not the least of which is i didnt wanna sleep thru my water-aerobics!

so while i would give both my eye-teeth to look like She does in the above photo, i'll take feeling strong and empowered after my workout in the water! for now. this morning, one of the instructors is going to take body measurements for me since i am just starting. (*ahem*) not that i feel validated, or anything...i'm just sayin'...

one of the other reasons sleep was hard to come by is kind of personal*...but i am hoping to have some photographic evidence for an updated post this afternoon ;) until then...ya just gotta wait. like i do!

*personal = too much to explain right now while i have to still get ready for swimming!

i love it when a plan comes together

one of my new year's resolutions is to exercise. my ultimate goal is to do some form of cardio exercise 6 days a week, with weight-training 3 days a week, and sundays off.

i know any attempt to start this. no matter how gung-ho i FEEL, its a little unreasonable when i have not been exercising at. all. during the week.

and so for this, i actually have developed a plan. and what i think are some realistic goals for myself to start with and work my way towards thru this year.

LADYBUG EXERCISE PLAN
3 days/wk ~~~ jan 1 - march 1
4 days/wk ~~~ march 1 - may 1
5 days/wk ~~~ may 1 - july 1
6 days/wk ~~~ july 1 - rest of the year and/or my life (!!!)

on a fluke today on my way to the lab...i stopped to say hello to a social worked who was eating her lunch in our ER conference room. she was looking thru a magazine that had some information about good foods to eat when trying to lose weight, and we started talking about the battle.

she told me of this place that has pretty awesome aqua-aerobics classes, and they are pretty reasonable, and convenient to me. the classes are 8-wks in duration, two nights each week. the cost is $65, and for $85, you can attend 3 classes each week.

now i love to swim, and being in the water is wonderful... so i think to myself that this is one of those non-coincidences in life. and since i have started back making the effort, things are crossing my path that will help me. so i told her she just might see me tomorrow night.

get this...classes are on monday & wednesday evenings. for some crazy reason, i scheduled my class this semester for a afternoon class. it ends at 6pm, and the swimming classes are from 7-8pm. this leaves me no excuse not to go!!! and i will always have off mondays and wednesday for my class.

i am pretty excited. wish me luck!
i'll be back with a review tomorrow night after i go swimming! :)


*the first reader to correctly tell me where my title comes from wins a handmade embroidered bookmark, colour of your choosing (approx 4-6wks for delivery)

way to use the old melon

so our oh-so-nice PA brings me a wound culture about 45 minutes ago...says the order will be in very soon. i'm almost sure he said "they are putting it in right now"

in fact, soon after he drops off the specimen, my trusty printer spits out the following:
UAI ~ urinalysis
URIC ~ uric acid - (this is a blood test used to diagnose Gout)
BLDC ~ blood cultures
SPUTC ~ sputum culture (ick!)
***note the absence of a WNDC ~ wound culture***

i take a wild guess and think this patient has a infected wound, and we are checking (with the blood cultures) if the infection has moved to his blood. all the tests make sense. except for the uric acid. we do a urinalysis on pretty much anyone who walks thru the damn door! and the sputum culture has me baffled, but we often get patients with multiple complaints AND infections. so it could be relevent.

and so i wait and wait...thinking the WNDC will come out any moment...and i rationalize...

(1) we are waiting on the urine specimen, that could take HOURS.

(2) the patient might be a hard stick, hence taking a while for the blood cultures and the tube for the uric acid...(tho, i admit i still think "hmmmmm" when i look at that label while i am waiting)

and then i realize it is change of shift, and over 35 minutes and there is no wound culture order. i go and find the PA and tell him i dont have the WNDC. and he is gets the chart... i rattle off what i DO have, and he looks perplexed at the sputum culture and also the uric acid. the chart HAD the wound culture there, but was ordered wrong. and then i told him i thought all the culture-y stuff was a little weird if they just thought he had GOUT and were doing a uric acid. he laughed really hard and said way to go, using the old melon.

when i got back to the lab here, i had to laugh and think of my dad. he woulda been proud, as we have a joke about "paying attention" when people think we are smart! i'll have to tell it in another post tho...

kicked in the stomach

sometimes having brothers that are Marines is fun. when you hear they are going to iraq, the fun...not so much.

in an email from my cajun mama this morning:
"hunter is leaving for iraq mid-march. he didnt want to ruin our visit, so he didnt tell us until right before he left..."

*sigh*

you know, i had forgotten what it feels like to have the wind knocked out of you. i remember it happened when i was around 9 or 10, and in summer camp. we were playing frisbee, and the frisbee came at me unexpectedly, and crashed right into my diaphragm. ohhmyy, i recall the way THAT felt now.

this is how i felt reading my cajun mama's email this morning...

my stomach felt like it was on the scariest roller coaster, or had the worst flu, and i wanted to simply curl up and cry like a baby. i had such an overwhelming feeling come over me when i read (and re-read and re-read) the words. like wanting to hug him. wanting to whack him upside the head for not telling ME before i left on christmas eve. wanting to talk to him and tell him how much he means to me. wanting to tell him i love him.

i dont like to get into discussing politics much, or why we are in this war, or why all our men and women arent home. i only know that i believe in our military, and what they are doing...because they believe in what they are accomplishing over there.

today has nothing to do with politics or why's or when's...
today has everything to do with a sister who is going to worry about her brother from the moment he leaves (read: now) until he is home safely.

















i love you, hunter paul.


*photo above was taken during training at 29 Palms, California
** photo of hunter and me taken during our Christmas in NC

body, mind & spirit ~ 2007

i've been in a particularly reflective mood for the past few days, and decided that this year, i am going to make some New Year's Resolutions. i have never come right down to it, and made an actual list, in my own handwriting, that i can truly keep track of. i know this list looks pretty daunting, but i think it is also pretty reasonable. and it just may help me keep my sanity throughout the year. without any further adieu...

BODY
- drink more water
- eat healthy
- exercise

MIND
- get an "A" in Anatomy & Physiology II
- maintain my 4.0 in my first semester of nursing school

SPIRIT
- pray every day
- make time for me
- keep dreaming

GOALS FOR THIS YEAR
- be strong. speak true.
- dont settle.
- dont compromise who i am.
- truly be sure those who i love, know it.
- honour my heart
- honour my feelings
- honour my emotions
- honour my dreams
- honour my goals
- honour who i am.

LEARN TO LOVE MYSELF BETTER
- document extensively and pursue reconstructive plastic surgery* (yes, this can exist under this category)

so.......did you make any resolutions this year?


*for those new to my blog, feel free to read here.

you know its gonna be bad...

...when you barely round the corner to the back hall of the ER, and you hear one of the most low-key, soft-spoken nurses from the mainside of the ER saying, rather loudly, and in an uncommonly stern voice, to a patient: "look, i am here to help you, and if you want my help, i cant have this crazy-ness or foolishness, i need you to cooperate. you dont have to cooperate, but i cant help you unless you do!"

yeah.
welcome to NYE in the ER...
we have already had security up here twice, just to get a patient to change into a hospital gown, and let us draw blood (different than who my low-key RN fussed at)

did i mention...?
its only 11:45am.

A.M.

holy crap.
its going to be a day!

sister act

i cant ever NOT watch this movie when i find it on TV...









i find it funny, that much of the fond memories i carry of this movie involve watching it in my off-campus house with my first girlfriend...nervously sitting close and before we spent the whole night kissing in front of the fireplace.









this is what happens when you go to a catholic college. you meet a girl, fall in love, and smooch during the movie Sister Act.

brothers & sisters

how lucky can one girl be...

three brothers who are US Marines!








~~~~~ stan ~~~~~~~ donavan ~~~~~~~ hunter ~~~~~

and two beautiful sisters

















~~~~~ celeste ~~~~~~~~~~ monique ~~~~~

SPF: 29 december 2006

so its 11:53pm, and i am just under the wire to participate in Kristine's (ok, Shaun's) Last SPF of 2006. maybe i should add "no procrastination" to my growing list of resolutions for 2007.

1. something that you wont have in your home in 2007.













junk food ~ i am planning for 2007 to be a healthier year for me, in many many ways...not the least of which includes what goes into my body. better things going in, means an all-around better ME!

2. something random and odd.













if this accident isnt random-and-odd, i dont know what qualifies. this is my poor little tootie - just starting to bruise and swell. you can only see the redness in this picture...more bruise-y, colourful photos to come in a separate post. (i cant believe i am posting a photograph of MY FEET on my blog. UN-maincured, at that!)

3. 07...pick seven of something. or with the number 7. whatever. be creative.













~~~~~~~ MY CAJUN FAMILY ~~~~~~~
~~~~Christmas in North Carolina~~~~
from left to right, starting in the back row:
1. cajun mama 2. donavan 3. coonass dad
4. stan 5. celeste 6. monique 7. hunter

SPF: 22 december 2006

in honour of christmas, and for Kristine, who is a little under the weather these days...my apologies for the lateness, but i couldnt pass up a chance to post a photo of the ornament! and now...without further adieu OR rambling on my part...

one decoration
the most beautiful ladybug ornament. ever.

















one gift
matroyshka doll - from USSR
(russia, for those to young to recall what/where the USSR is)






















































something stuffed in a stocking
one of the nephews. i still giggle at this picture. too much cuteness! *****cannot find the photo to scan, so this part is on hold. i have nothing to top the nephew-in-a-stocking photo

if it ain't broke...

...and even if it is...we cant do anything to fix it!

this was the verdict this morning when i got into work and went to our urgent care part of the ER. not before i got a raft of sh*t and a lot of ribbing about why was i drinking in the middle of the night, and what on earth was i eating that i needed hot-sauce for?

we took x-rays, and the toe is not broken. tho when the PA looked at it the first time and saw how badly bruised it is, i think she thought it might well be broken too. (a wee bit of validation is always good) the thing is...even if it were broken, the most they would do is to tape it. and with it just being bruised and hurty, we taped it anyways.

so i am not sure how i feel about justifying an ER visit, but i needed to know if the ouchies were going to be long-term --- they would have, if it was a break.

it really isnt bothering me as much as i thought it might this shift, and i hardly limp at all LOL but this is mainly due to having it wrapped. i am going to snag some tape and guaze pieces to have at home for the next few days.

pickapeppa pain

*i am merely writing in an attempt to distract myself from the constant pain i am still feeling. please excuse any profanity or insanity in this post*

approximately one hour ago, i woke up feeling a little thirsty, so in my sleepy-state, i had a pretty revolutionary thought: go to the fridge and get some ice water. ok, ladybug, thats an everyday common occurance in the middle of the night all over the country, i am sure.

tonight, was a little different.

as i tugged on the fridge door, it opened and i began to reach for my bottle of water... as i did this, i must have jarred the whole fridge unit enough that my bottle of Pickapeppa Jamaican Sauce that my cajum mama packed in with the gumbo on my return trip, as a surprise. (she promised me she would send it along with a hoodie she was going to get me at Camp Lejeune when they went to the MCX later this week, but was sneaky and put it in with the container of gumbo, to be found when i got home christmas night)

so the Pickapeppa comes crashing down, and smashes just-so onto the second toe of my left foot. i see so many freaking stars, i think i have just been launched into outer space.

and then the pain.
THE MOTHERFUCKING-i-cant-see-straight-PAIN!

i screamed "OWWWWW! OWWWWW OWWWW!" and my mother never heard me. i dont know why on earth my mind censored out the f-bomb, other than the fact that the pain was so overwhelming i couldnt even process anything beyond "OWWWWW!"

after i complete my hop-hop-hopping around the kitchen whilst screaming "OWWWWW" i pick up the god-damned Pickapeppa (shoulda taken it to work on christmas day and enjoyed it, but noooooo i had to 'save it for something special' like breaking my fucking toe in the middle of the night!) i try and decide what i need to do. i want to take a pain pill. one of the ones from my mom's knee replacement...but i cant, as i drank a little bit of our Orange Dream drink mix we brought home from the beach. even tho it wasnt much i drank, i am quite sure i recall learning in my Medicine Aide class: vodka + narcotics = Not Such A Good Idea. so i hopped around, and found some plastic baggies for ice (shoving the stuff on top of the fridge back a ridiculous 4" from the edge between filling the baggie of ice!)...all the while, the pain is still not relenting, and my shoulders are scrunched so high, i swear if i put a Q-tip on them, i could clean out my ears!

limp-limp-limp to the sofa, ice baggie in one hand, and some soda in the other hand (see, i upgraded from ice water!) i sit down, and lay the ice on top of my toes, which only hurts MORE and i rock myself gently back and forth, still saying "owwww owwww owwww owwww" only not so loudly. i finally decide i have likely broken the toe, and need to wake up my mommy. yes, i am 35. and yes, at times like this, she is My Mommy! so i wake her and show her my poor pitiful toe. i put my foot on the bed for her to see, and she asks which one, and annoyed i already have told her it is the 2nd toe, she runs her finger down the middle toe. i sigh and say irritatedly, "nooooo...the 2nd toe" and she runs her finger down the 4th toe, further away. a little more exasperated, i say again: "noooooooo...the SECOND toe" and she then decides to quickly swipe her finger over the length of the real injured toe and i am launched into space again!!! "OWWWWWWW!!!!" i yell, and jerk my foot from the bed to the bedside table. she really didnt exert any pressure when she ran her finger over it, but damn it hurt like the bottle smashing down onto it again. she and i laughed tho, and then she looks at the lovely bruising and states that it cant be broken, as the tie is still straight. i figure i will get work to x-ray it tomorrow and i am glad i have my crocs and they are easy-on/easy-off cuz i cannot imagine trying to get my foot into a tight tennis shoe.

so here i sit...ice baggie on my toes as i type, and i think they are finally numb enough for me to lay back down. i just hope i dont bump them into anything while i am sleeping. i cannot imagine that wake-up call!

a little note of my own...

you're a mean one, mr. grinch

despite this being my favourite christmas song, ever, today i feel guilty for feeling far-too-grinch-like...seeing as it IS christmas day, and all.

i have some serious pet peeves, and since i was so rudely ripped from the arms of my cajun family and shoved back into the realm of reality, and working christmas, today isnt the day for me to encounter one of the peeves.

i got into work, and as i am prepping my area, i dig my christmas cd's out of my backpack...i go to put a cd in the radio (that is mine) when i see that the little shelf it sits on under our counter is EMPTY.

*ladybug blood pressure steadily rises*

i think that someone cleaned and maybe it is stowed away in one of our cabinets. and i look. no radio. (grumble) i then decide to look for a note of something, telling me if it was accidentally broken, or borrowed, or whatever. nothing. (grumble-grumble) then i think for some reason, maybe it isnt up to code and we had to take it out...so i check the locker i share with another nurse and our other two lab techs. no radio. (grrr...getting a little more pissed off) then someone mentions that it is out front at the nurse's station. (to defend my aggrivation, we have had personal items stolen from the small ER lab, like wallets, etc.....so no note = stolen!)

so i head out there and write down the nurse assignments (these help me find who to contact when there is a problem with the bloods) and then i move the cart the radio is sitting on - that is smack in the middle of the whole mainside ER. i look at the desk and say i am taking my radio back. they pout. and wonder why i am grumpy about it. and i mention that it would be nice if people left a note... and one of the secretaries claims: "well, i dont have anything to do with that! it was night shift..." and i tell her of course, no one has anything to do with anything, but a radio was taken without asking or leaving a courteous note letting me know. whatthefuckEVER!

so i come back and put my radio back in its place, and pop in one of my christmas cd's and try to settle down. i was told later than the radio has been out there all weekend (which i TRULY would not care about - had they left a note!) and that this nurse told the associate director that he should at least put a note back here for me, and he pooh-pooh'ed her about it.

and so this is the main pet peeve: if something is NOT YOURS, you do not take it or use it, without the owner's permission. no matter if it IS christmas, and you want to be festive.

the secondary peeve is this: if you ARE going to have the balls to take something that IS NOT YOURS, leave a fucking note: "hope you dont mind, we needed some holiday music overnight, and didnt think you would mind, come get *the item* when you get in"

end of rant.

*hopping off green-and-red sopabox*

heads - carolina, tails - california

hear this song on my way home last night, and sang it at the top of my lungs!

in about 12 hours, i am loading up my car, and headed down to NC, for two very short days with My Cajun Family... they are driving up from Louisiana to spend christmas with all the kids this year. two of my Marine brothers are stationed in NC, and the 3rd Marine (whose grad i went to this last june) is flying into NC with his lovely girlfriend, and Cajun Mama and Coonass Dad are driving up with their two youngest girls, and a family friend ~ who is also an only child they have adopted as their own, as well.

and the best part - MY MOM is coming with me...so there shall be a meeting of the Northern Mama and the Cajun Mama :) we are ALL so very excited.

actually, i have worked 5 of the last 6 days, so i wasnt excited until about 3 hours ago, when they called from the road. Coonass Dad called, and i am thinking, ok, they left at 10am this morning, and are antsy and excited. and when i asked where they were, i was informed they just crossed into SC. *wtf?* even he doesnt drive THAT fast. to quote Coonass Dad, "the 4 fools with him got bugs up their butts to leave early, so we left at 10pm last night!" everyone was so excited, they decided they werent gonna sleep anyways, might as well not-sleep and be headed somewhere.

the boys in NC have no idea that they are going to be in tonight! they told them they werent leaving until 11am today cuz of everything they had to do before the trip. i will die to see Marine #1's face when they all are on his doorstep in a few hours!!!

and of course.....this makes me want to leave NOW.
the plan is still to leave at 3am, and get there by noon.

*off to do some laundry and start packing*

la de da de da...going to spend some holiday time with my Cajun Family...la de da de da...

armed & dangerous

the ER is always an exciting place, and by exciting, i mean a place where people waste our time complaining of abdominal pain, when they really only want to find out of they are pregnant.

nice.
a $300 charge to medicaid, for a $7 pregnancy test they dont wanna dole out the money for. its a great way to waste the time of our nurses and doctors.

there are the OD's (over-doses) who refuse to have an IV placed because they know we will give them Narcan (a drug that gets them UN-high *quickly* and then makes them sick) yet they want us to treat them for the OD.

there are the freak accidents:

the nurse is robbed and beat up in the parking lot of our hospital (but who fought back - the guy will never forget her, because she nearly bit his finger off!!!)

25yr old healthy young man, electrocuted on the job, and we work our asses off, unable to bring him back

a 49yr old woman who ingested seafood which she is deathly allergic to, who was alert and oriented enough in the ambo to TELL the EMS guys what she was allergic to, who should have been able to be saved, but who died anyways

the patient who was involved in a hit-and-run, who was dragged nearly a mile and there was no saving him ~ whose face haunts all of us who were there that day, even those who didnt have any real involvement in the incident or his care (me).

and then at last...saturday night we had a psych patient who lost some more of his marbles, and assaulted one of the nicest Physician Asst's in the world, causing the PA to need extensive stitches down his forehead and nose and cheek and also in the back of his head. one of our techs took the guy down, but was so upset that he had to hit and wrestle "a patient" yet he likely saved many nurses and docs from more injury but is worried about the Mgr's pending investigation.

and if that isnt quite enough, threats from said psych patient, that when he gets out (of jail or wherever he IS) he is coming back to Our Hospital and shooting us all up. said enough times, that the police made a special visit yesterday with photos and instructions and i assume we will be outfitted with some police presence when the fucker does get out.

normally my job doesnt scare me. but the events with the psych dude in the last two days really have me shaken...and cruising the internet for compact stunguns to carry in my pocket at work.

s.o.g.o.t.p.

it is time
to trust myself
to trust that smile
and those eyes
and that heart
i have come to love
so very much
that i have loved
for so very long

leap of faith...
here i come...

bad boys

just wonderin'...

what
exactly IS it
about bad boys
that is
so
very
sexy?

oregon christmas tree hunt 2006

seeing as the previous post, my christmas meme, has me in a festive mood, i thought its about time i share some photos from my oregon trip. althought it was a thanksgiving trip, we also prepared for and celebrated christmas...

supervising dad cutting down the tree













the deed is done!













back to the car...













picking just the right ornament...






























Chess King with auntie :)

















Lightning McQueen with auntie :)

















two angels - my sister and the tree-topper (that's her mom on the left, and she is not an angel - hehehe)













the most beautiful christmas tree!

















hope ya'll enjoyed a little scenic view into the oregon christmas tree hunt of 2006!

Christmas Meme

1. Hot Chocolate or Egg Nog? must i choose?

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? both!

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? aaaah, the eternal debate in my household. mom loves white lights on the tree. i love coloured lights. mom wins out, cuz she bought a tree with the lights already attached. it's ok tho...i have such dreams for my first christmas tree in my own place. when i was with my ex-gf, we had blue lights on her antique silver tree.

4. Do you hang mistletoe? not in a long long time, but i do recall hanging it in the doorway from our living room into the breakfast room in our old house when my parents were still together. i loved to hop into the doorway when my dad would get home and make him kiss me!

5. When do you put your decorations up? another interesting debate. when i was little, we used to put together our artificial tree, and put the lights on (which were, in fact, coloured) on christmas eve. usually with hot cocoa or tea with mom, my granny and me (my dad worked night shift). then it was time for me to go to bed, because if i didnt, santa wouldnt come to finish the tree... so all my life, the tree doesnt go up any earlier than dec 22nd or 23rd...tho as i got older, i got to decorate the tree with mom, etc! things changed a little when i was with my ex-gf, she was used to putting the tree up early. it was hard for me to handle dragging out all the stuff on dec 6th or so, but it was fun. and now in the last two years, i have spent in oregon with my sister and last year, we got the tree the day after thanksgiving and decorated it that saturday. somehow that has been ok for me, since i was visiting and not going to be out there at christmas. sister told me that the nephews were talking about me coming again this year to decorate the tree as early as september. so it looks like its a tradition now! personally...i cannot WAIT until i have my first christmas in my own place. and i can make my own decorating traditions... which will likely combine a bit of all of the above.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish? wow. this is a hard one. i think it might have to be my mom's ham and raisin sauce. and since i inherited a love for the italian traditions, since i have spent so many holidays with ex-gf and her family (even after we were no longer a couple), i absolutely LOVE having ravioli's and homemade gravy for christmas!

7. Favorite Holiday memory? childhood ~ christmas morning in the house i was born in. as i mentioned above, my parents did the tree christmas eve. one of my most vivid memories is waking my parents up, and my mom would make me sit on the top step of our stairs and wait...she went down to turn on the lights, and then would come up and get me (when i was really little) or i was allowed to creep down the stairs. i can still see the morning light coming thru our stained glass windows that were behind the tree, and the glow of the tree with the coloured lights and all the ornaments...and the presents. it was just so magical and warm and wonderful. we also had this snowman stuffed decoration, and he was soooo soft, and ONLY on christmas eve was i allowed to take him up to my room, and fall asleep holding him. we have pics of a very sleepy-faced me in my mom's arms and me carrying the snowman down the steps and my first look at the tree. of course in red footsie pajamas. adult ~ waking up with my gf on our first christmas, and exchanging presents in our jammies, making each other cry with our sappy cards, and having her family friends and my mom for dinner at 'our house'

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? what do you mean, the trusth about santa? certainly not that hogwash that he isnt real???

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? this question cracks me up. i typically do not mind waiting until the morning, but my mom is always so very excited about the presents, and sheepishly will ask me before she goes to bed on christmas eve: "do you wanna open just one?" and i said no, its ok. and then i ask if she wants me to open one, and she grins and says yes, just one!

10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? with white lights and with ornaments collected over the years. no theme, or anything like that... its like a scrapbook of family and friends over the years. these are my favourite kinds of trees. when i was growing up, my mom gave me a "daughter" ornament every year... i dont know when it stopped, but we always did that...at least thru high school. when i was out in oregon this year, sister showed the boys some ornaments i had given her over the years. and we had stuff from her hubby's family, and things he made when he was little, etc. it was so very beautiful... i do like themed christmas trees, tho. and when i have my own place i will likely have a scrapbook-type tree, but i also would love a smaller tree with hardanger embroidery ornaments i have made for myself. we'll see how that goes! i DO however plan to make a embroidered star for my own tree. and it will be the start of my family heirloom...

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? LOVE IT! i even am a little insane and love driving in it... when i got my license, my dad insisted i learn to drive in all kinds of weather, especially snow and ice. so we took out his car to a empty parking lot one christmas break, and he showed me how to get a car out of a spin or a skid. all the cars i have had have been THE BEST in the snow, and none of them was an SUV. i swear, my little front-wheel drive saturn kicks ass in the snow. i love being alone on the roads in the snow driving somewhere...it makes me feel like an explorer or an adventurer or something like that.

12. Can you ice skate? i used to love roller skating, but i have never been ice skating. always wanted to...but was always afraid of my ankles giving way. maybe i can convince carrie to come ice skating and not laugh if i fall on my ass ;)

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? thats hard. my favourite childhood gift would have to be a bike. i wanted a bike for forever... and my parents wrapped up the "owners manual" and i was like 9yrs old, and i SO didnt get that you only get an owners manual when you get that item!!! when i realized this, i ran into our 'junk room' (which was the dining room used for dad's darkroom and storage stuff, not a commonly used room for a kid) and there was this royal blue 3-speed bike. i thought i was the shit! my favourite adult christmas was the first with my ex-gf. it started with midnight mass at this beautiful old church, and then getting to wake up with my live... sleepily making hot tea for each other (these were better than any presents for me), and a lovely wrapped pile of gifts under the tree. i recall the card more than anything...as it made me cry. (she got photos!!!) but the sweetest thing was, we were only together about 6 weeks, much too soon for a ring for christmas...(tho a week later, i got one for new year's. HA! gotta love the speed-of-light lesbian relationships) anyway, as it wasnt appropriate for a ring for christmas, but we were too serious not to have "something special", i got a ladybug pendant (the one in my profile photo). i rarely take it off, and i think it is still one of my favourite gifts ever.

14. What's the most important thing? John 3:16 ~ "for god so loved the world, that he sent his only son..."

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? my mema's sugar cookies, complete with sherry in them. rolled thin and dipped in hot tea with plenty of sugar and milk in it. yummmmm.

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? making a Happy Birthday Jesus card/poster with my dad... going to midnight mass, if it is truly at midnight ;) so many churches here make midnight mass @ 10pm. (not right!) and also putting out reindeer dust on christmas eve... ex-gf showed me this one :) you mix some quaker oats with glitter, and sprinkle on your front steps... the oats are for the reindeer to eat while santa leaves the presents, and the glitter helps them see it in the dark. even last year, when i wasnt with my girl. i couldnt skip this tradition, and i sprinkled the reindeer dust on our apartment steps. i cant wait to do this with my kids one day... as for christmas day traditions, my mom usually wakes me up early, and she makes orange-glazed rolls, and coffee for her, and tea for me, while we each open one present at a time. she usually has an order that i must go in, on least to best, etc. i have worked in healthcare for so long, i am used to working on the holiday, which i will this year... when i wasnt in healthcare and had them off, i enjoyed my time with my ex-gf's family.

17. What tops your tree? usually an angel with lights around her. nothing heirloom-ish.

18. Which do you prefer giving or Receiving? i love choosing special things i know people will love, and that will mean something to them... but getting special gifts is also fun, when you know the person didnt just buy 'something' but put their heart and thought into it.

19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? this question is too hard. i think i have to have 3...or maybe 5, ok...8!!! "Oh Come All Ye Faithful" (bing crosby) ~ "What Child is This" (instrumental, and also by myself and my dad - i know how to play this on flute and played it one year with him for his prayer-group's christmas meeting ~ i was 11) ~ "Blue Christmas" (elvis) ~ "Emmanuel" (amy grant) ~ "Breath of Heaven" (amy grant) ~ "Mary Did You Know?" (unknown) ~ "Please Come Home For Christmas" (the eagles) ~ "Same Olde Lang Syne" (dan fogelberg)

20. Candy canes, Yuck or Yum? yum. especially melted in hot cocoa...